Facing My Own Demons Alone
by onceuponpanem
Summary: Katniss is pregnant. Yes, it's Peeta's baby. He is still hijacked though and there's not sign of him returning. Katniss decides to go live back in District 12 after not wanting to see her mother, Prim, or even Haymitch.


_Katniss_

I hear a loud banging on my door, the sound of the loud knock echoing through my home. I got up out of bed dazed. _Who would be knocking on my door at this time?_ I carefully stepped out into the living room, the door only a short distance away. I sighed, closing in on the area separating us as I cracked open the heavy oak door to see the piece of my heart that had been missing for weeks. _Him._ His blue eyes looked as clear as an ocean as they studied me carefully. "Katniss," he breathed, his burly chest rising and falling in a sigh of relief.

"Peeta," I murmured wrapping my arms around his neck tightly, making it harder for him to breath. He froze under my touch, my arms releasing him as I searched for something in his eyes. He was different. I didn't know what was different about him, but something had changed.

"Peeta Mellark, what do you think you're doing here? Get away!" Haymitch screeched down the hall, shooing Peeta away as he furiously scrambled to where we stood. I wanted to tell him to stop, beg him to let Peeta stay, but my throat was dry and I could barely breath.

"If what I've heard is true, I must speak to her," he muttered and my eyes dropped to the floor. He was talking about … _the baby. _I knew I shouldn't say anything, but the words were spilling from my mouth.

"It's not true. Just another rumor," I mumbled, my fingertips tapping against the wall behind me lightly. Peeta looked to Haymitch for a nod or something to suggest I was lying, but Haymitch had stopped dead in his tracks, watching me carefully in wonderment as to what I was thinking. Peeta looked at me, about to say something, but Haymitch grabbed his arm, tugging lightly on it. "Wait, what-what's going on? What aren't you telling me?" I asked, Haymitch's eyes filling with hostility.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart," and with that he left, dragging Peeta away with him.

When Haymitch returned he stood with my mother, both of them uncomfortably nodding at each other. "Katniss, I just want to check on things," my mother mumbled as she signaled me to follow her into her office. Haymitch sighed and gave me a nod that it was safe to go. I cautiously followed her into the sterile room, her smile fading as we stepped out of the public eye. She instructed me to get on the table and I did as I was told.

Everything was alright she told me, but somewhere in the back of my mind I had doubt. Not about the baby, but about…about Peeta. I looked at Haymitch, his eyebrows scrunching up as he took another sip of the liquor he had in his hand. "Please Haymitch, what's wrong with Peeta?" I asked my heart sinking as my mother rested her hand on my back, rubbing circles lightly as she sat beside me.

"Don't worry about it Katniss," she whispered softly, soothingly almost.

"I will worry about it!" I spat, my muscles tensing as I became impatient with them. Haymitch looked from my mother to me with a sense of fear.

"Katniss, you honestly don't need to worry," my mother repeated, her voice becoming irritating as she refused to agree to my demand.

"I will worry because if you haven't noticed, he's the father of this thing that's growing inside of me so I suggest one of you grow a pair and tell me what exactly is wrong with him!" I cried exasperated and exhausted at my own rage. In the moment of distress, I felt a light kick, my baby begging me to relax. I calmed myself, not for them, but for the baby as I stared my mother down. "Please," I begged. This was Haymitch's breaking point. He sighed.

"He's been, as you may say, hijacked. The capitol has fed him information, bad information. He thinks you killed everyone and you're the reason for the rebellion, and the death of his family. It's all a lie though, and Peeta has no control over himself." Haymitch turned away to keep from seeing the hurt in my eyes. His face returned to face me just as sobs shook my whole body. I felt arms wrap around me and I knew I was engulfed in my mother's frail arms.

Haymitch was wrong though. It wasn't a lie. I was the reason for all of it.

_Everything is my fault. _


End file.
